Has it really been a fortnight? I had a nagging feeling at the back at the time, that it’s been a while since I’ve written, but wow – I didn’t know it has been that long.
So what’s new? Hmm.. work, work and more work, and easing back into single life, I guess. Which is a lot harder than I thought. I never thought of myself as overly complicated person, or one to possess baggage – what kind of hippie wannabe does that make me? – but looking at myself these day… I guess I do.
I have seven years of baggage with a man that never really departed my memories.
I have newly-formed baggage in the form of paranoia that the next man I commit to will be another mistake. I have doubts on whether I will ever find a lover and best friend again (though come to think of it, I’m not sure I really ever found one). And worst of all, I am vaguely aware that I have already, in my mind, drawn up a never-ending checklist starting from is he a person I can stand looking at for the next 50 years, and ending with is this person capable/gonna take care of me.
As we all know, checklists are an exercise in futility, particularly if you’re standing on the boundaries ticking them off.
My 20124Q self is not quite the same anymore: I’m physically and mentally incapable of just submitting, going with the flow, doing a let’s see. Because that’s what I’ve done my whole life and look where that’s gotten me: nowhere, just a massive trove of relationship stories to share over latte and scrambled eggs on a Sunday afternoon.
Now I need facts, reassurance, counterarguments and counter-counter arguments. If I could stick a target price and market entry timing to a man, I probably would, I think! Gasp, that’s ridiculous Amanda.
In other more positive news, The Scarlette is now live! Here’s the link: http://the-scarlette.com
It’s still undergoing some minor fine-tuning but on the whole it works (and more importantly the dresses are pretty and good), and if you have feedback on how it can be better, drop me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org 🙂 It will mean I need to bug yet another IT-oriented friend for a favor but hey! Life’s a big barter trade.
Have a great week folks!!! xoxo