“Should I wait for S, mom?”, I Whatsapped.
“Erh are you seeing some other guy now?”, mom replied.
“Wth what kind of question is that? Noo…”
And a few hours later, my long distance relationship spanning many kilometers and many years ended.
Distance and age was the catalyst – fueled by a growing awareness of my limited shelf life + anxiety from watching everyone around me work towards a normal life, I started not wanting this distance.
But the real kicker was something quite different, and much more fundamental than distance: he doesn’t believe in taking care of women, that men/women are 50/50 when it comes to marriage, finances, responsibilities. While I’m old school; I grew up in a family where dad took care of mom and never whined about it.. and I want someone like that too, even if only in essence. It’s not like intend to stop working and be a total dependent, but I want that option, and security of knowing someone is taking care of me, to make this world a gentler place.
When I realized that was not part of his plan, and that I was expecting more than he was willing to give, I gave up – why fight for something that ultimately isn’t what you want? It’s not a matter of who’s right and wrong – there’s none – but more the fit and expectations between people as they traverse that space between relationship and real commitment.
And I cancelled BJ too, for I really don’t want to go on yet another 50/50 trip and spend all my life savings on vacations again. If no one takes care of me.. gosh, I better take care of myself! 😦
Anyway – have a good weekend! I’m fine, really!! Went to MAAD yesterday and it was so fun, and in a while I’m off to brunch with a girlfriend for geek out + HTHT. Love weekends ❤