I’m pretty good at remaining friends with my exes because I’ve always considered them friends before lovers. They’re all great in their own right, in my eyes, otherwise I wouldn’t have gotten together with them in the first place! And that makes me possessive of them, as friends, because I would like to remain friends and I always continue to hope and wish the best for them. Strangely though, I noticed recently that I’ve been unceremoniously FB-deleted by one of them, a good 3 years after we broke up!? If it’s the work of a jealous girfriend, I advise high caution ahead. Only deeply insecure women can’t get past the fact that everyone’s entitled to have a past. God didn’t stick couples together the instant they were born after all.


9 thoughts on “fb-deleted!

  1. C. says:

    Having been on both sides of the matter before…i think it really isn’t always the case of mere insecurity on the gf’s part. Perhaps, she may have discovered that her bf is obsessed with finding out what his ex is up to…i know some who constantly try to check out what their ex is up to on FB. It was hard when I had to delete all my online ties with my ex-es in a past relationship…but it was also especially painful for me when I found out that my bf was having daily email/sms exchanges with his ex. And it even veered onto discussions that are just not right… An innocent friendship between ex-es is really tricky for some people. I won’t say all, but for some…

  2. amandina says:

    that’s fair C, although not a view i necessarily emphathise with. i’ve never conducted a single ‘unright’ exchange with him in the entirety of our post breakup, nor would i call him obsessed with what i’m up to (far from it). and on the occasions that we do talk, its more like buddy chat between old friends. so this sudden defriending is sort of bewildering. i’m sad to have lost a friend (quite literally), but i hope that whatever is up with his life, it’s good and making him happy, and not cloistered! there’s nothing quite worse than being trapped by another human being, in my view.

    becca> i had to censor your comment im sorry! no names on my blog! xx

  3. c. says:

    yah if that’s the case, then it would really be a pity to lose the friendship…i think, every so often, people lose their friends for love… only to realise that the friendships could have lasted longer than the relationships.

  4. jane says:

    i kinda understand where he came from. i asked my bf to delete his ex fb because she was psychotic, but i don’t think you’re like her at all. She kept checking up on him & asked why he’s not spending time w/ her or why he’s ignoring her (they broke up at least 8 yrs ago lol). She went nuts when he took her of fb and asked him why he chose me over her. I don’t know why your ex did that but maybe the current gf feels threaten by you?

  5. D says:

    I don’t think it’s good to remain friends with exes. You may be able to let go, but what about them? If a guy was really into you, he’ll always feel something special for you.

  6. amandina says:

    yes, undeniably, fondness, understanding, patience. that’s a given, but hardly detrimental, in my view.

    this happens between people under far more circumstances than being together as boyfriend and girlfriend (and i guess eventually exes). if we were to eliminate every single person who ‘feels something special for you’, we’d be left with no one. i think human relationships ought to be a lot more all-encompassing than those defined by labels, or specific relationship you enter into.

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