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what say you. im lost. need help. stat.

Partied way too much this weekend with two visiting architects and spent Sunday hanging out in complete contentment with the boy. I have to make some hard and fast decisions soon, mostly whether to meet up with S in yet another exotic location – I believe he is suggesting Bhutan – and see what gives with his latest idea that maybe we were meant to be together and that he now a reformed rich kid willing to move to HK to give love a shot… OR nip his idea  in the bud and see where THIS one goes, with the boy (no promises). In essence, that’s it. What say you?

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13 thoughts on “what say you. im lost. need help. stat.

  1. amandina says:

    mmm. you guys aren’s answering me!? and i cannot think of where else to stay in bhutan other than amankora ha ha it lks amazing though.

  2. YuHui says:

    Well minus off the part about him being reformed or not, the crux is do you still love him? Do you like being debrained by him and the kinda emotional insults he used to give to you?

  3. fimvim says:

    give s another shot for closure’s sake?

    on the other hand, what percentage u wanna be with new boy? more or less than s..

  4. amandina says:

    i don’t think i still love him, for i didn’t really miss him since we broke up, and that’s revealing i think. that said, we share an understanding and bond that is deep and instinctive, and i suspect that’s what draws us back to each other so many several times over five years. we’ve never had the chance to fully explore a normal relationship, and we both suffered much emotionally – but the good times were good, and the happiness was real.

    but if i am brutally honest with myself,i think i’m just being selfish, wanting to preserve myself best as i can, position myself in the most advantageous way possible. so to me, the choice is not about who i love – since i love neither, it’s too late for S, too early for new boy – but rather a conscious decision between someone who loves me and is happy to share a life with me (taking away all the little flaws that everyone has anyways) vs a complete unknown, someone whom i like – very much actually – but am not sure what it will lead to.

    the thing with new boy, is that i have imperfect knowledge. i know nothing, not even whether he likes me, or just finds me fun to hang out with occasionally. im so worried that i can turn out to be just a meaningless diversion for someone; or that he will flake out on me after a few months, in which case i would end up with nothing.

    im terribly ashamed to distill love into a practicality, but when you’re me, you tend to look out for these things. my self is what i’ve been living on all these years.

  5. lynn says:

    tough call.
    you’ll need to make 2 lists (despite imperfect knowledge). 1st list – pros and cons on character attributes of each dude. 2nd list – pros and cons on old familiar ground vs new uncharted waters

  6. amandina says:

    i already decided, despite not having made any lists. risktaking ftw! (if all fails, i wills come back running to you crying – or not – and you can take me out for some oily prata – deal?)

  7. Y says:

    Anyway this isn’t the end. Not going to Bhutan doesn’t mean that s won’t ask u for another exotic holiday few mths later. And going to bhutan with him also doesn’t mean that u two will get back happily together. Who knows u might end up with the new boy, then realize he is not the one, get back with s in yet another cool location. This is just an eg. There are so many ways this will play out in the end

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