I realized today that I have very immature expectations of life; I want it to be high, 24/7. I want to excel at work, every single day, have a social life occasionally after work on weekdays and every Friday night, Saturday and Sunday. High times put me in an excellent mood, bad times make me somewhat angsty. Time-filled days with no agenda make me anxious, depressed and lonely. But it is not realistic at all to have high times all the time, and even more immature to have your mood and general positivity contingent on how much ‘things’ you have planned for the day. Happiness is supposed to be internal; somehow I feel like I’m only addressing the external.