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In summary

Since December, I had been deliberating the value of keeping our relationship. The outlook was fraught with cracks: a distractedness (on my part); dwindling conversation with nary a catalyst in sight (trust me, there are only so many ways you can say ‘Hello, how was your day? I miss you..’); a lack of near-to-mid term plans to be together; I guess overall a lack of conviction from both sides that we were ready, or willing, to sacrifice our lives to be together.

But being together is precisely what a relationship needs, even a long-distance one, ultimately. So we now find ourselves in this situation, breaking up not because we hate each other, or stopped caring for each other, but because we simply weren’t top priorities for each other. And because the gradual fallout revealed to us, unambiguously, how breaking up now is the logical and only thing to do.

We weren’t particularly happy or unhappy together, but if status quo were to remain, we’d never realize otherwise. Breaking up and releasing each other is a silent acknowledgment on both our sides that maybe happiness is waiting, elsewhere.

On my part, there was an added, and very rational, reason, which proved to be the swinging factor – money and lifestyle. The more money I make, the more of our vacation bill I footed. And the more I footed, the more aware I was of how painful it is to blow all that hard-earned cash on a few days of enjoyment. Or not. Most times, I didn’t even enjoy the vacations because I never got to see anything. I have gotten so sick of excess that I’d scream if anyone were to stick me in another 5-star resort.

Our entire relationship has been characterized by drama, from beginning to faux ends, and it seems slightly surreal that the real end turned out to be a most calm, unupsetting and unspectacular one.

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3 thoughts on “In summary

  1. I think it’s a sigh of relief for you to make the call/decision to call it quits. A lot of couples often stay together because they are too comfortable with each other and it’s a terrifying thing to break out of the comfort zone. Hence, the result of much unhappiness in a relationship. So, it might be a calm ending to an otherwise dramatic relationship but at the end of the day, if it brings u more contentment, isn’t that what that matters the most? 🙂

    • Y says:

      I kinda disagree…. To some extent. I’ve been in a r/s with the guy guy for the past 5 yrs. Are things too comfortable? Yes. Are we too afraid to leave each other n get out if the confort zone as a result? Probably yes too. But one thing I’ve learnt is that if I were to move from one r/s to another because of this “too comfortable and too afraid” reason, I’ll never have a lasting r/s, assuming a lasting r/s is what u are after. I’ve toyed with thoughts of leaving coz I thought things were getting too stale too… But I know the same thing is going to happen to the next guy, and the guys after that.

      So while I’m no longer in the stage of madly deeply crazily in love (I do miss this), my belief is that as long as we can stand being with each other, are ourselves when with each other and have no nagging issues, I’ll stay with the guy.

      Just my thoughts coming from someone who misses the feeling of being madly in love with someone, but also grateful for the calm and familiarity I have now 🙂

  2. amandina says:

    both viewpoints are valid 🙂 love and the value of relationships ultimately depends on the persons involved and increasingly, as im starting to think, the stages of life they are in. relationships sometimes depends a lot on timing, pure romance/passion is never enough. commitment and faith needs to come into the equation, but how much of this a person is willing to put in differs at every stage in his/her life, and also with whom he/she is at a particular point in time. im happy for you y, that you’ve found your mojo in stability, and that’s good – never let anyone else convince you otherwise! thanks blisschic for your comment too; you’re right. i’m contented now and optimistic on the whole! 🙂

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