My weekend

Let me tell you about my Shenzhen weekend.

I didn’t know what was going to happen. All I knew was that on Friday night, D and J separately emailed me to ask what I was doing this weekend and did I feel like a massage. Of course I needed a massage – try hunching over your desk from dawn to dusk. OK, I exaggerate slightly on dawn to dusk.

So I was instructed to ‘be at our place at 7.15pm’ which I was, 15 minutes late. Brought toothbrush, coffee, cardigan and all of the personal effects mentioned in previous post. Got laughed at when the boys saw my toothbrush poking out of my Pradino which could either be screaming “I’m a AAA huo!” or “They don’t make AAA Pradas! Come rob me!” Doesn’t matter, that’s simply the largest bag I own which does not come with 4 wheels and a retractable handle.

We took a long taxi ride to the border of HK and SZ – and honestly, my sense of direction/geography is obscene. I know Sheung Wan is west of Causeway Bay but I have no idea which direction SZ is in. I just know we took many expressways which went over many different types of land masses – and probably went past New Territories at some point.

So ANYWAY to try and cut a long story short, we got to SZ where they were, strangely, no taxis in sight. Just your typical transport-related hustlers that you usually find in front of an airport, or bus terminal or train station. We had a couple of reservations about getting into one of those hei ches but seeing we had no choice, we kinda did – and eventually got to our destination which I was dodgily told I would never get out of during our entire stay there.

It’s called the something something Health Club.

And once you go in, it’s like a 5-star prison. First you have to strip on a wristlet with a number and henceforth you will be referred to only by your number. Then you surrender your clothes and change into some funky pyjamas (pink for girls, blue for boys) with disposable underwear. Then I went up to ‘Room 808’ which was our room and we had dinner, at 10pm. (Dinner was good, much better than China Club.)

In the room there were 5 massage chairs and computers and KTV set. And a personal butler. The butler arranged for the girls. By girls I meant masseurs. The masseurs also go by numbers. An ordering conversation would go something like this, “服务员! 我要点883, 933, 799. 把那个991取消!” The post ordering conversation would go something like this. “933 is damn good at head massage! I hope 799 is pretty.”

Obviously the girls get stuck with the uglier masseurs and mine wasn’t even that good. But I got my ears digged and that was really good. Ear digging is a service, yes. Digging mind you – not candling. There’s also a thermal pool, steam room, sauna, game rooms, internet rooms, movie on demand, KTV on demand, facial services, an entire floor of free-flowing buffet.

It was seriously surreal. All this while people are walking around in blue and pink pyjamas, eating/relaxing to their heart’s content. Interesting huh. It’s like one of those ‘only-in-China’ moments.

But S got pissed because I mentioned to him that I was going to Shenzhen but neglected to mention that I was sleeping over. It was an honest mistake (forgetful moment) on my part, and I spent the whole of Sunday trying to make amends via China Mobile, Hutchinson Three and Mobile One. NOT CHEAP.

Luckily he calmed down in the evening and we had a nice, long and very expensive phone call just before I went to bed. 🙂 Some things in life, I conclude, are worth it. I just buy less handbags maybe.

I watched Basic Instinct last night, it was so funny. I also watched She’s Out of My League which was retarded, and the prequel to Ip Man which was.. not good. Ip Man was much better. I also had dim sum for lunch and Shanghainese for dinner. I also went househunting. And I found a potential flat – in Causeway Bay.

Let me tell you the things I like about it. One, it’s located near just about everything you’ll ever want in life – and I spotted a Korean restaurant nearby. And a Thai one, and an Indonesian one. Two, it’s a one unit per floor type of apartment which means that the lift lobby on each floor is private – which means extra space for putting shoes and other stuff. Two and a half, there are like 3 mirrors in the private lift-lobby area. Three, decor is not-baddish. just a bit confused at times. The right side of the house looks better than the left side which prompted me to actually ask if the place was designed by 2 different people. Kitchen is big, toilet is big, and there’s a private back door leading to the staircase exits – which imply a potentially new smoking area. Four, it’s the cheapest of everything I’ve seen so far – 12k/month max. Five, the lobby is nice and the security guard looks.. safe. Six, door is equipped with a SAMSUNG ELECTRONIC LOCK. Fucking cool! I spent all night waxing lyrical about the lock to S and I told him that if he ever worked in the locks division, I would buy a gazillion locks.

The thing I don’t like about it – it’s freaking small. Exclude the nice big toilet and the nice big kitchen and the nice big prep-yourself-before-you-step-into-the-elevator area, and I’m left with a squishy bedroom-cum-living room-cum-dining area. Sorry, I don’t even have a dining table – I might have to spread newspapers and eat off the floor.

Get – or no? I have 7 DAYS LEFT TO GET AN APARTMENT. A run through my options:

1) Soho walkup – good: above salad bar, big, bright; bad: have to walk up 4 storeys, don’t know many people in Soho, toilet is brown and small; price about 13k

2) Soho apartment – good: nice modern decor, fully furnished (including cutlery and all that jazz); bad: super expensive, landlord seems like a stubborn bitch; price 15k unnegotiable (bitch!)

3) Causeway Bay apartment – good: cheap, a bit rough around the edges (mismtching decor) but could feel like ‘home; bad: small; price 12k negotiable


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